Isolating is unhealthy
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Ms. George on The Systemic Intervention urdreamphotography on The Systemic Intervention
How do we know what our needs are?
Being able to accurately and honestly identify what our needs and feelings are can be a real challenge. If no one in your household is making things difficult, does this mean you are having a good day? Let’s say your loved one is home and has not shown evidence that their addiction is rearing its ugly head. They are actually following through with what they say they are going to do. This is a good thing right? Maybe you don’t want to be the cause of them beginning to think about drinking or using drugs so you are polite and try to be a good person or a nice wife, husband, parent or whatever. You are being supportive.
This is your wakeup call. In this particular scenario, there are two people. It appears that only one person is getting consideration. One person is not supposed to quietly suffer while the other is getting well. Both of you have needs that must be met
There is something in Alanon called the three C’s. It goes like this: You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it and you can’t cure it. I like to add a fourth “C”: But you can contribute to the problem.
Your day should not be dependent upon whether or not someone else is having a good day. Someone should be taking care of you and there is no one better to do this job than you. This has a lot of perks. When you have successes, you get to feel the rewards for those successes instead of just getting relief because you aren’t feeling the pain of someone else’s failures. Sure it feels good when pains stops but don’t you want more than that for yourself? I’m just saying…
How about seeing your own therapist to help you take stock in what your needs and feelings actually are. It is helpful to have a non biased professional to help sort out our feelings. We all can use an emotional tune-up now and then.
You can call your insurance carrier to get referrals for therapists or you can go to http://www.samhsa.gov or http://www.hopelinks.net/codependency for more resources.
As always, I encourage new ideas to old problems. All responses will be printed.
Ms. George
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Ms. George Interview with Mother of an adult daughter in treatment.
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The Systemic Intervention
The focus of this type of intervention is on the entire family system rather than on the identified addict.
The goal of the systemic intervention is to provide hope where there once was despair for the whole family; to empower those who have been consumed by their loved one’s addiction and to guide the entire family toward lasting change.
Feeling helpless can cause fear, frustration and anger in both the identified addict and the rest of the family system. It is commonly recognized that change is most difficult for the people closest to the identified addict. It is usually a big surprise for the family system to realize that they are as sick as the identified addict.
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Client Centered Intervention
The INDIVIDUAL INTERVENTION is sometimes referred to as the “client-centered” intervention (Carl Rogers, mainstream psychology). Almost always, a family member or significant other will make the call to an interventionist with a desperate plea for help.
Motivational Interviewing (William R. Miller, Stephen Rollnick – 2002 – Psychology) is the technique employed by the interventionist when speaking to the first time caller. This technique is also applied throughout the intervention process. This process helps identify which “Stage of Change” (Prochaska and DiClemente’s) the caller is in. It is important to note that there are 5 Stages of Change: Pre-contemplation (not thinking about change), Contemplation (ambivalent about change), Preparation (plan to act), Action (practicing new behavior) and Maintenance (sustaining new behavior). The caller may be at the Preparation Stage in the change process. The identified addict may only be at the Pre-contemplation stage.
Already, there is conflict in the process.
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Social life… what’s that?
Is there a time when you visited people just because you enjoyed their company? When is the last time that you visited someone without having a reason to visit with them other than it just feels good to hang out with them?
I’m not talking about the family get-together or any other service type visits such as with doctors, lawyers or therapists.
Who supports you when you are feeling blue? Who is it that believes you are wonderful no matter what you do? Women, what other woman or group of women make you laugh so hard that tears come to your eyes? Men, what other man or group of men are willing to support you no matter what you look like or feel like. I’m talking about other people who like you, respect you and are willing take your calls after business hours.
It does not matter what else is going on in your life. You must have others around you that make you feel good. This is one of the main ways, we as humans, get our joy. Joy is not a luxury. It is a necessity to life. When you have joy, you have hope. Hope is another life necessity. Without hope and joy we will wither and die emotionally. Now… go out and get yours!
With hope and joy, Ms. George
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Just Breathe
So… your loved one is in treatment. What now? Do you go to their room and look for further evidence that they are an addict or chemically dependent? Do you sit down and map out what your loved one should do to remain abstinent from their addictive behavior after they return home? The answers to all of these questions are NO, NO and NO!
It might be a good idea to ask yourself: who has been taking care of me? What are your needs and feelings today. Maybe you should just close you eyes and breathe deeply. It is time for you to take care of your self. Wow! This does open a whole new world of possibilities.
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For the Whole Family
Welcome to my blog. This is not a place to find medical advice or any other kind of advice. This is a place where you can learn new ways to heal and become empowered through new ideas and some old ideas that you may have forgotten.
I invite you to question me and my thoughts and hope that you will be open to new ideas.
Ms. George
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Recovery For All 
Addiction and mental health problems combined
Also known as co-occurring disorders, dual diagnosis is a term that refers to one person who suffers from an addictive disorder and a mood disorder at the same time. Dual diagnosis may include process addiction behaviors such as gambling or shopping, or substance addictions to drugs or alcohol. Addiction can be developed by anyone; it is not reserved for certain personality types or social standing.
It is common for drug addiction to begin as a means of self-medication for an undiagnosed disorder. It is also common for a disorder such as depression to be evident only after stopping long term use of psycho-physiological stimulants such as crack, cocaine, ecstasy and methamphetamine. Cessation of some legitimate medications may also cause depression.
Mood disorders and addictive disorders influence each other. When you acknowledge one disorder and ignore the other disorders, the ignored disorders will flourish.
In summary, all disorders must be acknowledged and addressed on some level in the beginning of treatment. The patient’s care requires a team of treatment professionals. Good communications between all professionals involved is vital to the success of the patient’s treatment.
Information presented here is basic and so much more could be said about this subject. Questions or comments on this subject are welcome and encouraged.
Ms. George